Resistance To The Heart

Rushing to work the other day, I saw that Jack Kornfield was giving a talk called "Seeing with the Eyes of the Heart." In just reading that title, my right shoulder loosened up. I texted a little slower. My jaw loosened. And then I felt a surging gratitude for the relationships in my life.

I believe that all of us, when our basic needs are met, want to be seeing with the eyes of the heart. From a place that is calm, curious, compassionate, and confident. 

If we had a good-enough internal parent inside us, we would always know how to come back to this way of seeing and being when we stray from it. We would know when to value adventure and when to stay put. We would be softer while remaining assertive with our needs. We would recognize the ego's loss as the soul's gain. We would stop seeing ourselves as separate from the planet. And so on.

But often that internal parent in us is afraid of something from the past and working harder than it needs to. This parent resists seeing with the eyes of the heart because it believes doing so is not safe.

This parent will never stop trying to protect you, so there's no sense in trying to get it to go away. I believe that the only fruitful option is to relate differently to this fearful parent inside. Can you reconsider your relationship to it? Can you take time to listen to it, understand it, and try to see that fearful parent with the eyes of the heart? And then maybe, if that parent is willing, ask it to hop in the co-pilot seat instead of the captain's seat.

If you can find the possibility of relationship to this scared protector, you may find that the heart naturally takes its true position as leader. And then the other parts of you flow naturally: your feet, your hands, your ears, and your eyes.